As my career tangled itself in WordPress, even though I was well known in other industries, I quickly became popular within the WordPress Community – and the target of meanies. Yep, as in the childhood bullies that plague us our whole lives.
Without any marketing or self-promotion, this site and my articles on other sites attracted attention internationally, and so did I. Living on the road full-time, my normal schedule of speaking at conferences and workshops expanded to WordCamps and WordPress-related events. With all the attention came the meanies. Between 2005-2008, a rash of meanies aimed their meanness at me. Call it jealousy, someone with a bone to pick, or people eager for a target, those years were tough as the web exploded with access to millions, and it didn’t take long for the meanies to come out swinging at any target.
I’m over it. I’m so over it, but it still hurts when years later a random search turns up one of those nasty posts, attempts to chop me off at the knees or humble me. Most of these are considered harmless, silly attempts to make me look like something I’m not, even the efforts to undermine me – for the most part they couldn’t find enough wrong with me to aim at, but it still hurts.
It hurts today.
How do I turn today’s hurt, a wound now scarred over that twinges with the wrong move, into a blog exercise?
I turn it over to you.
Your blog exercise today is to think about all the little slights that have come your way over the years, and share what you do to “get over it” and keep moving forward.
We’ve all suffered the digs, jealousy, the meanies at one time or other. I would love to live a life free of trolls, but there they are and we have to live with them.
How do you handle the little hurts that never seem to go away, especially with the ubiquitous nature of the web? Why should a narrow-minded person eager to take shots at anyone they think is “better than me” in 2007 still twinge today?
There are companies that specialize in culling the web of such meanness, as well as your personal overindulgence in sharing poorly on the web. The reality is that they can’t do much except drown it, and I’ve done a good job drowning most of these idiots, but their content is still there, waiting to be found, as I found one today by accident.
I’m fine. I have my ways. I have an amazing supportive team around me ready with hugs and tea, but what about you?
Please share your method for standing tall and keeping to the faithful path. How do you cope?
You can find more Blog Exercises on Lorelle on WordPress. This is a year-long challenge to help you flex your blogging muscles.
Via Feedburner
Subscribe by Email
Lorelle on WordPress 
12 Comments
Reblogged this on Blog of an e-marketer by Main Uddin.
Strange. I’ve been blogging for just over three years now, and have rarely had a single mean or ‘hater’ comment. There were the usual ‘you’re obviously a man’ comments (well, two) at the start, but they vanished and I don’t know whether anyone would even be able to find them again with the best of search engines. Perhaps I should feel a little left out? Perhaps the meanies, for me, are late developers.
Many do not get such comments nor articles written about them, but I’m sure you have gotten slighted and bullied at some point in your life. How do you keep going on?
Thanks.
Hi Viktoria,
Perhaps it can be reasonably concluded that the contents and blogging frequencies of Lorelle have made her into a “larger” target for the meanies.
Hi Lorelle,
SoundEagle would like to console you about the hurts that you have been through. You have blogged admirably and hence deserve not disparaging and belittling remarks from meanies, but praises and encouragements from kindies.
As always, SoundEagle, thank you for your kindness and support.
SoundEagle hopes that the hurts will fade away entirely in good time. 🙂
For me it’s been opportunists disguised as opportunities. 🙂 Or people who hang out on your blog just to use your ideas/posts without any credit. Or in the writing community, the biggest meanies are/were on Goodreads – people posting vicious reviews out of jealousy. At times, I’ve thought about deleting my blogs, books, etc. and hibernating away from the internet. But I think the best way to deal with it is for us to share our stories/experiences in posts like this. Thanks, Lorelle! I find you very inspiring!
Kathy, you are brilliant. Sharing is a great way to help support each other. Knowing we aren’t the only ones, alone in the universe, makes a ton of difference. Excellent. Thank you.
The way I see it is you need to have a look at the broader picture here. Yes, there have been negative comments. But those negative trolls are quickly drowned in the tsunami of positive value you yourself have provided throughout the years. I may not always benefit from the WordPress tips you provide here, Lorelle, but I do appreciate an honest effort when I see one. Let this be a reminder to always stay true to yourself.
Good advice for everyone. Thanks.
I don’t know much about blogging and am new to this online digital world so I haven’t experienced what you describe; however if it helps, when I encounter meanness (even inadvertent) I turn my attention to me and why it bothers me. What belief about myself do I hold that their actions has triggered? I figure if I am having the pain I might as well get the gain. It takes a while and (usually) eventually I learn something useful about myself. The last time it happened I discovered that I didn’t have a mechanism for dealing with passive/aggressive behaviour (so I would just swallow the comment and pretend it didn’t hurt). Now I have invented a way to respond. Almost looking forward to the next time someone does it (almost). Good luck and thanks for your blog. Tracey
You are welcome.
One Trackback/Pingback
[…] via https://lorelle.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/blog-exercises-it-still-hurts/ […]