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Gosh Golly Grammar Giggles

The Lifewriter’s Digest’s Don Nylin of Illinois wrote “Ain’t Grammar Fun: Words to the Wise (or is that, Wise Words?)”, a humorous look at grammar gaffs and reminders of how we should, or shouldn’t write in English.

Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


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Copyright Lorelle VanFossen, member of the 9Rules Network

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11 Comments

  1. Posted July 4, 2006 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    “never, ever use repetitive redundancies.”

    Is “never, ever” a repetitive redundancy? ;-)

    35. Use the power of the schwartz!

    Marc

  2. Posted July 4, 2006 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    Oh man I fell for it! doh!

  3. Posted July 4, 2006 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

    and it took 31 minutes to get it!

    must be the last article i wrote .. a real brainfck

  4. Posted July 4, 2006 at 10:20 pm | Permalink

    But I use like more than half of all that! It’s what gives character to my otherwise mundane life!

  5. Posted July 5, 2006 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    Exaggeration is flavorful and picturesque. I respecfully disagree with 33.

  6. Posted July 5, 2006 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    hehe …

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who fell for it…

    OK people. Time to get the joke.

    Marc

  7. Posted July 6, 2006 at 3:54 am | Permalink

    I like alliteration but agree it needs to have its place. These rules can all be played with – the use of exaggeration is what gives us bathos. Good writing is a craft. I think of it as the clay our work is moulded from and we should take as much care as any other sculptor.

  8. Posted July 6, 2006 at 6:30 am | Permalink

    Another one: use emoticons when you are too illiterate to express your feelings otherwise ;-)

  9. Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:04 am | Permalink

    Glad , you saw this article too . Sorry that i underestimated you . :D .
    You ROCK , Lorelle ,

  10. Posted July 6, 2006 at 8:25 am | Permalink

    Mandarine: excellent! hee hee

    Actually, to fit into Nylin’s grammar tips, it should be phrased:

    * Use emoticons to express yourself fully ;-) :-) :-( :P :oops: :roll:

    Or something like that. This is just too much fun! :lol:

  11. Posted July 7, 2006 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    Funny, I’ll print this out and hang it on my wall. Do kill all exclamation points.


2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] Don’t use the passive voice and don’t use really weird words without knowing their true meaning. Lorelle has a list of good grammar tips. If you don’t know what these terminology is, ask your English professor. I know that a good percentage of you people are still in school which by the way starts in a couple of months. [...]

  2. [...] Here’s a set of rules for good writing [and not just blogging] that I found when I hit The Best WordPress Blogs Blog [my naming convention; by the way, what’s ONE WORD for ‘naming convention’?] [...]

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