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The Best EVER Set of Instructions on How to Start Your Own Blog

When this first came out, I thought it was cute. A couple weeks later, it was still with me. I couldn’t get it out of my mind and I wanted to blog about it. I searched and searched and searched to no avail. Well, today, you are the lucky ones and so am I because I found it. I don’t know exactly how I found it, but it came up in some search engine results on a completely unrelated (so I thought) keyword combination and there it was. The long lost now found hysterical look at How To Start Your Very Own Blog In Fifty-One Easy Steps! from Kuro5hin.

Whether you have a blog, want to start one, have just started one, or have dozens of blogs, you have to read this brilliant introduction in how to start your very own blog.

This is one of my favorite parts:

25. Reload your blog incessantly every two minutes to see if anyone has made a comment.

26. Become enraged when the very first comment made on your very first blog entry is “yuo are teh sUxx0r!” from Anonymous

27. Go outdoors to calm down and get some fresh air, since you’ve spent twenty-two hours now working on your blog.

28. Tell every person you encounter – jogger, police officer, frantic paramedic – your blog’s URL.

29. Head back home when an idea for a blog entry comes to mind, such as the rudeness of paramedics who can’t be bothered to talk about your blog because they are busy helping some whiner with pitbull bite wounds on his throat.

30. When back at your computer, immediately refresh your blog’s page to see if any more comments were made while you were gone.

31. Grip the edge of your computer desk when the second comment reads “I said yuo are teh sUxx0r!” by Anonymous

32. Click on the “make new post” button on your blog.

Enjoy! Oh, but start your blogging with first, then move on to the full version of WordPress or other blogging software. That’s the only part of the instructions that I would change. Now, have fun!


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Copyright Lorelle VanFossen

4 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted January 19, 2006 at 10:27 pm | Permalink

    You are ‘l33t’ :)

  2. Posted January 20, 2006 at 2:40 am | Permalink

    I can’t help wondering how many people hit:

    13. Realize in horror that you have absolutely no idea what you’re going to write about.

    I know I did. Now I just write about anything on my main blog!

    Oh, there should be a whole new list for how to move your blog away from wordpress.com when you want to use the “template” that you’ve spent 17 hours creating in Frontpage… ;)

  3. therearenospoons
    Posted January 20, 2006 at 3:13 am | Permalink

    Anyone know how people use other themes that are NOT on WordPress.com’s presentation list? I’ve seen quite a few of them, ranging from slight tweakage to the themes on the presentation list (e.g. changing of the color of the banner) to using themes totally not on the list.

  4. Posted January 20, 2006 at 7:31 am | Permalink

    Yes. Everyone “should” know because it’s been discussed here and elsewhere a lot. If you see a WordPress.com Theme that doesn’t resemble the ones in your Presentation Panel, then this person is 1) famous or infamous, 2) knows the developers, 3) brings in enough traffic and attention to justify personal preferences and favors.

    I’m against the favoritism shown, but money and attention-getting bloggers speaks loudly. Who wouldn’t want Scoble on your team? That’s good PR.

    More Themes are coming out that allow for more customization, such as the ground breaking Regulus Theme I’m currently using, so stay tuned for more customizability. And if that is really important to you, then get the free, full version of WordPress on your own hosted server and do whatever you want. Remember, wordpress.com is free, so you get what you pay for. ;-) And the full version of WordPress is free, so you get even more than what you pay for with that version.


5 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] I’m sorry. I just had to blog about this. It made my day a whole lot better after reading through it. Thanks to Lorelle for finding it first. With the whole sense of newbieness today in regards to people driving buses like assholes, people reading blogs and thought it was obviously true and people writing blogs for no reason aside from dwelling in the past, I found the ironic twist there which still leaves me grinning like the cheshire cat [...]

  2. [...] The Best EVER Set of Instructions on How to Start Your Own Blog [...]

  3. […] The Best EVER Set of Instructions on How to Start Your Own Blog […]

  4. […] The Best EVER Set of Instructions on How to Start Your Own Blog […]

  5. […] The Best EVER Set of Instructions on How to Start Your Own Blog […]

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